Restless

Lately Bug has been restless.

He turns and wiggles in his bed a lot.

Lightly whimpers and grips at his sheets.

Sometimes he'll only sleep for 10 minutes at a time.

The only time he seems to really settle down and rests is when he's in my arms,

held close to my chest.

This cycle is one that I find exhausting. 

It's hard not to get frustrated.

But then as I got thinking about it, we do the same thing as adults.

Okay so maybe it is slightly different but it really isn't that far off.

We’re so busy so much of the time.

There is always so much to do.

We have places to go, people to see, stuff to get done.

We might sleep at night but even then our minds are going.

We multitask constantly and hardly ever give our full attention to any one thing.

We worry and stress about the economy, our children, our jobs.

Maybe you have a loved one currently battling for their life.

Maybe your son or daughter is distant and getting into trouble.

You feel like your marriage is falling apart and all you do is argue with your spouse.

You just lost your primary income and don’t know how you’re going to pay your mortgage payment or keep from having your heat turned off.

You just keep moving.

We think that maybe if I just keep going, if I push a little harder, work a little longer, yell a little louder, that maybe just maybe something will change.

But nothing changes.

We begin to feel like we have hit rock bottom.

We feel lost and alone.

Sometimes we get so restless that we start to turn to other things for peace.

Drugs. Alcohol. The arms of someone other than the one we married.

We think that something has to work.

Something will help numb or at least dull the pain we’re currently experiencing.

But no matter how hard we try nothing works.

But did you know, that just like when I hold my son close to me and he feels the warmth of my arms around him, there is someone who wants to hold you like that too?!

You can run into the arms of your Heavenly father.

He wants nothing more than for you to curl up like a little child into His arms,

Dump all of your cares and worries, and to find rest.

God loves us so much more than we could ever begin to understand.

Yes, bad things happen. Sometimes things don’t go the way we want.

But no matter where we are and no matter what is going on in our lives God is still there.

Can you imagine loving someone so much that you would give up your only child to die in their place? I know I can’t. But THAT is how much God loves you. No matter what you've done, no matter where you are, He loves you right there.

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Matthew 11:28-30 -the Message

Take a few minutes today and close your eyes, listen to this song and soak up God's love.
Ask Him to give you rest. Real rest. He will you know. You just simply have to ask.

Lonely

Today I'd like to talk about something we all feel at times but no one talks about.

Image Credit

(Que song)

..."One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do

Two can be as bad as one

It's the loneliest number since the number one..."

-Three Dog Night-

I was at a girls day out with some lovely ladies from my church this morning and during lunch we had a short devotional time.The topic: Loneliness.

We were told to remember a time when we were lonely and to remember how that felt.

I began thinking back to when I first got married and moved to a new town.

We started attending a new church.

I started working at a new place.

And I didn't know anyone.

I was lonely.

We were then told to close our eyes and state words or a single sentence of what comes to mind when we think of Lonely. 

"Cold, distant, forgotten, sad, depressed, empty, alone."

These were just some of the things said to describe lonely.

There were so many times I was in a crowded room and I felt completely isolated.

I could be laughing and joking around, yet inside I felt like I was dying.

The thing of it is...It's EASY to stay lonely.

We don't always realize it but we can tend to stay in our shell.

Truth of it is, it's really difficult to admit that we're lonely to others.

If we were really honest with ourselves we might even admit that it's scary.

We're afraid that we're the only ones that are feeling that way.

That others will judge us and look at us differently.

But the thing of it is..we're only as alone as we allow ourselves to be.

We are not alone. There are so many people feeling lonely too.

Even King David wrote about his loneliness:

"Turn to me and be gracious to me,
For I am lonely and afflicted."

-Psalm 25:16

"I lie awake, 

I have become like a 

lonely bird on a housetop."

-Psalm 102:7

We were then reminded (after being told to take the hand of the person sitting next to us) 

that God is closer to us than the hand we're holding.

He is with you.

Have I not commanded you? 

Be strong and courageous! 

Do not tremble or be dismayed, 

for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

-Joshua 1:9

He is always with you. 

Reach out.

Take a moment to set your fears aside and reach out to someone.

Talk to God about your loneliness and ask Him to bring someone into your life.

I was very blessed and was given a wonderful friend just one I needed one most.

Turns out shortly there after she would need a friend too. (But that is a whole different story.)

I saw this today at this cute little shoppe on a sign

"The best time to make friends is before you need them"

Chances are if you're in need of a friend, someone else is too.

This isn't the life I signed up for......

I had a fairly big realization today.

I never knew how much I wanted this life until I had it.

That's right.

I never knew or realized just how much I wanted to be a wife and mom until I was a wife and mom.

As a kid I never really day dreamed about my wedding, being married, or having babies.

I was a total tomboy as a kid.

I played baseball on an all boy team, played soccer, enjoyed being outdoors, mowing lawn, reading books, and (my most girly thing) taking dance classes.

Even once I stared dating the man I would one day marry, I had other plans.

I would go to college,  have a career, and maybe someday get married and have a family.

I had it all planned out.

However, my plans didn't pan out.

God had other plans.

I didn't end up getting accepted to the school I wanted to go to and I hadn't applied to any other schools.

I took an online course instead. Which honestly was a God send as I was able to save thousands of dollars.

However, I never ended up having the career I thought I would have.

My now husband and I got married.

In three years of being  married we have had two babies.

And now I can't picture my life any other way. (Nor would I want to.)

Thinking about working full time, not having our two sweet boys, and probably hardly ever seeing my husband is a completely foreign concept to me now. 

I have the exact life I really truly wanted.

Now I'm not saying that it's always easy.

Because quite honestly its not.

This is the toughest job I know I will ever have and will love.

There are days that are just hard.

Sometimes I feel like I just don't know what to do anymore.

Sometimes motherhood is a lonely road and we tend as moms to out everyone else's needs before our own.

I've seen my own mom do it for years and I know I do the exact same thing.

And quite honestly I have had moments where I've felt like I'm losing myself.

This isn't the life I signed up for.....

But I'm so glad this is the life I've been given.

"Delight yourself in the Lord;

And He will give you the desires of your heart."

Psalm 37:4

God gave me the desire of my heart even when I didn't know what those desires were.

But now I have to post this and go take care of my littlest desire who happens to be VERY hungry and in need of a diaper change. haha oh man I love being a mom. :)

Late night, Blessed morning.

Have you stayed up till 3 am lately?
I have.
Last night in fact.

You see I have this sweet little guy who we like to call Bug.
Bug kept me up last night.
For whatever reason he just wouldn't go to sleep.

This is what I posted on Facebook at 3 am:
"Its 3am and I'm a little bit (very) tired, but I'm not sleeping cause I'm rocking a sweet little guy. It's moments like these that I am so thankful for. Not so much the sleeplessness but the reason why the lack of sleep. I know this won't last forever.... in fact...it'll be gone all too soon."

So after being up a good part of the night
(I got to bed sometime close to 4)
I had a very blessed morning.

I was exhausted when both boys decided to be up for the day.
I asked my husband if he would mind getting up with the boys and give me just 15 more minutes.
However, instead of giving me 15 minutes he gave me close to an hour!
When he came in to wake me he brought me a nice hot cup of coffee. (In one of my favorite mugs no less.)

It's in the little every day moments like those that I get reminded of how blessed I am.
A simple moment where my husband shows me a little extra love and grace.
Something simple that has left a smile on my face all day.
(Even if it is 5:30pm and I still haven't gotten the chance to get a shower and am covered in baby puke. Just keepin' it real!)


So how about you?
Did someone bless your day?
Have you taken the time to bless someone else?
Leave me a comment, I would love to hear about it!!

MIA....

Hey everyone,

  Sorry I've been MIA lately.
I've been a little busy spending time with my boys and trying to figure out how to be a mommy of two. :)
Bug and I have been enjoying some time bonding and getting to know each other.
Plus I haven't wanted Monkey to feel left out.
So I'm sorry but yes my blog has suffered for it.

I have some big things in the works though so please stay tuned!!

Upcoming blog posts include:
"When the waiting is over...." a follow up to "waiting.... "
"Meet Bug"
"Etsy with a purpose"
As well as a review on a baby bath and a few other things :)
So please stay tuned!