Think, dream, create.

Lately I've felt like I've just been in survival mode.
With having two littles of my own and then adding two more little ones I've just simply been doing what I need to do to get by,
But I've really felt a large void in my life.

I need to create.

I've always enjoyed doing crafts and things with my hands since I was young.
As a young girl I could lay on the floor and color for hours on end.
As I grew older I got into paper crafts and beading.
In my teens my great-grandmother taught me how to crochet and I learned to knit because of a special little girl I babysat.

While I still love to do all of those things, I rarely find the time to do most of them.
As a wife and mom I, like so many others, put aside the things that I find joy and pleasure in to meet everyone else's needs first.
But in the last week I've found I have a yearning to do some of those things again.
So I've decided I'm going to find or rather make the time for myself.

I know it won't be easy as I love my family and it is so easy to put everyone else (Read I'm a total people pleaser).
But I also know that by me taking time for myself to think, dream, create, and finding joy and pleasure in doing something with my hands again will also benefit my family. So really I'm doing it for them right? ;)

I've also been saying for, oh who knows how long, that I want to open an Etsy Shop. 
My goal is to get it up and running by the end of this year. Guess I should probably get going on it huh?

What do you do that is simply something you enjoy and do for yourself?
What do you do to keep yourself from feeling guilty taking "me time?"

12 by 2012

So I was wandering around in the blogging world and came across someone's post about doing 12 things before 2012. I thought this sounded interesting and wanted to know some more about it and then realized that it was something someone was linking up to. So I went to the originator of the 12 by 2012. Danni over at  Oh, Hello Friend created this as a way to push herself to get a few things done before the start of a new year. (I'll let you check out her blog for the full rundown.) A few things that are just lingering. In checking out several of the others who have linked up it seems as though it is a lot of things people intended to do anyways but need the deadline to keep themselves from continuing to put them off. So thank you Danni for creating this challenge and making it a linky party so it'll help keep all of us accountable. Here's to everyone working to get 12 (or more...or less) things done before the start of the new year. And now I'm off to make a physical list so I can put it up somewhere so I can see it and be reminded to follow through on some of this... (like No.6...)

11 Weeks, 14 Items... I can do this!

1. Spend real quality time alone with God at some point in time during the day, every day, even if it can't be first thing in the morning. 
2. Give the beautiful trunk a major face life and get it in our room with the extra blankets inside.
3. Give the mirror a face lift and hang it in our room 
4. Clean out clothes I do not wear and take them to a consignment shop.
5. Send a card to a different friend once a week. (11 Cards in total. 3 of 11 Done)
6. Exercise at least Three times a week in my home. (5,10,15) 
7. Make Home Made Bread Dough 3 Times. (giving me 9 loaves of bread.)
8. Finish reading at least one book. 
9. Make some major strides in the Chaos Cleaning Project. (Including scrubbing the shower, fridge, and washing machine.)
10. Take more time to get down on the floor and play with my son. (not that I don't do this but I also need to make a more conscious effort to do this and take the time to just get right down on his level, not make him come up to mine.)
11. Sit down with Hubby and revamp our budget and really stick to it so we can get out of debt together.
12. Make realistic goals for starting the shop including short term and long term goals.
13. Complete Two Mei Tais.
14. Blog about each thing as I check it off my list. :)

Projects, Plans, and Procrastination.

Projects
I currently have 2  make that 3 Mei Tai Projects going on! YAY!
These are my first 3 paid orders for Mei Tais and I am beyond excited! My first two orders are for two wonderful moms in my church. The first has a little girl who is around 7 weeks old and the second has a boy who is around 14 months. They've seen me carry Monkey around in the mei tai I made for us back a month or so ago and asked where they could go buy one. The third is a surprise so I am not saying who it is for. :) I can't begin to tell you all how excited this really makes me to have real official orders for these already as they will eventually be going up on my etsy shop when I get it up and going!


Plans
Over the last week Dowe and I have had some really good and very important conversations with each other. We actually had probably one of the best pillow talk times ever a couple of nights ago. It was a topic that could have been really difficult to talk about but it was a sweet time together. The three of us snuggled and hugged and kissed as Dowe and I talked. Monkey was in bed with us as he was all out of sorts with the major thunder and lightening storm we had that knocked our power out. As I've mentioned before we have been doing the FPU classes and though we aren't beyond hope in debt we also don't want to be in our 60's and still paying off debts from our early 20's. If you know anything about Dave Ramsey you know he talks about having "Gazelle Intensity" when it comes to getting out of debt. Dowe and I are currently praying about what that means for our family.  I covet your prayers that we do what God shows us in this area.


Our currently plans with this is giving me a more definitive Work time. This will mean that Mommy goes into the office (which is slightly secluded from the rest of the house) and I will be putting in a good 2 hours each morning while Dowe and Monkey get MAN TIME! I am so thankful that with us being on a better schedule this should make that transition easier. 


Procrastination....
Alright...now I'm getting really honest with you here so don't judge ok?
My house is a mess....no really...I mean it...its a mess.... see?....

Living room exploded with Monkey's Toys 

and you can't see all of the unfolded laundry on the couch.

There is a toy box under that pile there...a bookshelf next to that...and a dining room table somewhere in there.

umm...kitchen counter?...Where art thou?

Dishes Dishes EVERYWHERE!!!

Sigh...I told you...a mess!

I have been quite overwhelmed with how bad its been that I didn't even know WHERE to begin! Quite honestly...I haven't even had any sort of motivation to even try to begin to start.
I have been procrastinating horribly when it comes to all of this. *sigh* 


Not anymore!


Well...Yesterday I started. And though I have a long ways to go....I started.

Monkey's toys are picked up, all of the laundry is folded and put away 

I can see counter top!!!! And the dishes to the far right are clean.

And have been put away since I took this picture.

I had a VERY good and productive day (even with a cranky Monkey).

Dowe was blow away when he came home as to how much I got done around the house and I even spent a good amount of time sewing tonight! YAY! Straps are all sewn for mei tai order number one. :) Oh And I even spent time with Kay last night :) She came over for dinner and just to spend time together as we didn't have our small group Bible study.

Rough days....blessed heart.

So it has honestly been a rough couple of days here in my home.


Monkey has been unusually fussy and oh so very clingy. I am however so thankful for the time he and I have been able to spend together. The Mei Tai carrier could not have been finished at a more perfect time for us!
I'm not sure if Monkey is just about to hit a major milestone or if we are just in a weird phase right now but he has not been napping and so I have not been able to work. However, instead of getting worked up and frustrated that I haven't been able to work much as of lately I am totally enjoying this time with my baby. 
I still cannot believe he will be a year on the 3rd! We did all of this waiting for him to arrive and then time just FLEW by us!


My thumb is going to be alright. ha... No stitches required. I just took the bandage off to check it and redress it and though it is extremely sore it will be fine. This just happened at an annoying time for me as I'm trying really hard to get things caught up around the house before Monkey's birthday party. We're not having it at our house but I'm sure there will be family/friends who will come over after the party plus I just want and need to have things back in order as well as to be able to continue my chaos cleaning. 


On a more enjoyable note Monkey and I had a WONDERFUL time playing outside today!
We were out there for a few hours together. I laid out a blanket for us, took a small bin of toys out there for him and took a cup of coffee and a book for me. I became a mommy jungle gym and great fun to crawl over, on, up, tickle, and lick for Monkey and did not mind any of it one bit! (ok so not a flattering picture of my son at all...he looks...drunk or something haha)
 

While Monkey was playing I was reading "Self Talk, Soul Talk." This is an AMAZING book that every woman NEEDS to read!!! Seriously....you need to get yourself on over to amazon and buy a copy. (or at least attempt to find one at either your local library or see if a friend has it that you can borrow.) 
(if you click on the picture it will take you right to the listing on Amazon.)
I am actually going to buy myself a copy even though my local library has it and I've been borrowing it to read. I just feel this is one of those books I need to have on my shelf so I can highlight in it, write in it, go back to on those days when my self talk isn't what it should be, as well as let some of those special lovely ladies in my life read too.
    This time spent outside in the quite of our backyard, the sounds of my beautiful son playing and getting to spend some time reading today really blessed my heart and soul. I can not remember the last time I read a book. Especially something that betters my life the way this book is. I talk to myself all the time but most of the time they aren't the kindest of words. Words I wouldn't let others hear me say, things I would not say to someone else, but things I say to myself....to my soul. This is something God has really been working on in my life for quite some time now. I've pretty much always felt that I am never good enough and fail those I love most of the time. But I am learning that God made me who I am and how I am which is perfect in His eyes, I am only human, and I can not always be everything to everyone.
   The women's Sunday School class I was attending started doing Jennifer Rothschild's "Me, Myself, and Lies" just before I started going to the Dave Ramsey Class. I have wanted to do it on my own and keep up so I can go back to the class but I haven't kept up the way I wanted to. However, I am planning to go through the study myself fairly soon. Over the last few months I have really felt God moving in this area of my life. There have been several times at church and at small group about how we need to take our thoughts and minds captive. I need to replace my wrong thinking with things that are True. I need to speak truth to my soul.
How about you? Do you talk to yourself? I bet you do and don't even realize it.
Take notice tomorrow....what things are you saying to yourself? Are you being a cheerleader and speaking truth to your soul or are you being a "Debbie Downer" telling yourself lies, hurtful words, and continually scolding yourself?   Let me know your thoughts on this.






Last but not least......as Promised.... Mei Tai pictures!!!



Daddy will even "wear" Monkey! They BOTH enjoyed the wearing bond they got today :)
Hubby was saying how great its going to be for going to the Fairs this summer! :) Wohoo!!!

Domestic Diva

A few friends of mine have this little mini contest between themselves as to which one is a Domestic Diva. Bek, Biz, Rah, and Rebe who happen to all be related (first three are sisters last one is their cousin) are constantly trying to out Diva each other. I find this little contest a total riot! But today I am a Domestic Diva! I completed my first major sewing project since like 5th grade all on my own! WOHOO!!! Also I hemmed 2.5 of 6 pairs of Dowe's work pants. I ran out of the right color thread so I have to finish that yet but at least he wont get in any kind of trouble for not wearing his work pants now that he has 2 pairs hemmed.



I promised pictures so here they are! I am sorry that I didn't take more as I was working on the project. I will have to upload a picture of Monkey in it a little later.



Fabric Cut and Ready to Sew!



Completed Mei Tai. Outside.



Complete Mei Tai Inside.




Totally loving this already. I wasn't sure how Monkey would do being "worn"as he hasn't fit in the sling my mom made for me in quite some time. However, he did great! He actually really enjoyed himself "dancing" with mommy while I did some dishes. We put on some loud crazy up beat music and I bounced slightly while I washed the dishes and he wiggled around with me :)  Looking to maybe eventually put these up on my Etsy shop as well. :) 
(still unsure as to when my launch date will be but trust me I will let you all know!)

Sew-Sew Excited!!!! =)

I have to tell you all how super excited I am!
A friend of mine from church has graciously offered her sewing machine to me for use over the weekend. *insert happy dance here!* And is bring it over to me TODAY!!!!!!


This could not be any better timing! 
Yes, I am super excited because I can finish Monkey's Mei Tai Carrier but Dowe just got his new uniforms in the other day and the pants are all toooo long.
Having a sewing machine here will save me from having to hand hem 6 pairs of pants. 
It really wouldn't be a huge deal but I'm just afraid it wouldn't be a good enough hem and that I would be redoing them at least once a month. My wonderful husband is 5'10" so his inseam normally is around a 32 or 33. His work pants however came as a 34 but are SOOO long! 
He asked his boss if it would be alright if I just hemmed them for him and his boss told him he would MUCH rather have me hem them than have to reorder them. (They're costly pants let me tell you!)


AHH! I am so super excited. I am going to stop blogging for now so I can go clean like a mad woman...that way once the sewing machine is here I am free to play!!! :) haha 
And don't worry....I will be sure to take LOTS of pictures of my sewing project as I'm going so I can post a whole blog about the Mei Tai. 

First Major Sewing Project!!!

AHH! I'm so excited! I have officially started my first major sewing project! I think the last time I did any sort of sewing project that was more than hemming my pants (I'm super short and have to hem almost everything) or fixing a seam was probably back in 4th or 5th grade. (I've been out of school for 4 years....Do the math.)
I spent the evening cutting this adorable fabric apart that my mom gave me.
She was going to make a ring sling for me but then I would have had two of them and with how big my son is its hard to carry him in a ring sing anymore.

How cute is that?! The best part is my mom bought it before my baby boy was born but we started calling him Monkey way before my mom gave me this fabric!

I am making a Mei Tai baby carrier. Heres an example of one.




Its basically like a Baby Backpack. I'll be able to carry my Monkey in this on my hip, back. or front as this picture shows. I am SUPER excited! I have to get some batting in order to make it so the straps will be more comfortable for me as well as another fabric to put on the back side of this but I'm hoping to do that some time really soon. (like in the next few days I hope...*crosses fingers*)

Once I have the rest of the stuff cut out and ready to be sewn together I just have to find someone who will be willing to let me use their sewing machine... :) I am really super excited and am hoping to eventually make more of these to put up on my Etsy Shop?! (this will require me having my own sewing machine first though I'm afraid.) I'll post more pictures soon on this project and of course let you all know how it turns out! :)

Etsy

I've been checking out several different friend's blogs and a lot of them have Etsy Shops.

Now I'm not trying to be like everyone else here but I LOVE to do crafts!!

Beading, Knitting, Crocheting, Scrapbooking......OH MY!!! 

You name it and I HAVE to at least try it!

I love to just sit and crochet or knit something. In fact I have to date made more things than I can honestly count, including the afghan that is currently on Dowe's and my bed. It is so relaxing and makes me feel closer to the two loved ones who taught these crafts to me who are no longer here. Like their legacy's will still live on through my hands. 

My Great Grandmother taught me how to crochet. 

My Great Grandma is the lovely lady standing on the right hand side of this picture. 

(also have to point out my mom is the cute little kid at the end of the table on the left.)

Over the years of family vacations visiting my Great Grandparents down south, I grew to love sitting and watching my great grandma crocheting for hours on end. The fluid motions she would make with her hands, the way that the project she was working on had to be perfect in order to give it to whomever she was making it for, and seeing her "rip out" hours and hours worth of work because of realizing a mistake she made earlier and hadn't caught sooner. I never asked her to teach me over the years, just was happy to sit and watch. Then the very last trip we made before she passed away she handed me the project she was in the middle of working on and with great love and patience taught me the thing I had loved watching her do for so long. I don't remember ever asking her or her ever asking me if I wanted to learn, I just remember her handing me this beautiful thing she was in the process of making. From that moment on I was  "Hooked". I went out that night to Walmart with my parents and bought a small kit that was a "Learn to Crochet" book and a few crocheting hooks, as well as a couple of my favorite yarns in the same weight that she was using and the same size hook. It was a treasure...this gift she gave me.  Now if you knew this wonderful woman you would also know that she HATED her picture being taken. She would yell at my mom (who is a photographer at heart) every time she saw the camera was out. Now my mom is a very clever woman and was able to sneak a few special photos of my Great Grandma (her grandma) over the years. This time however was different. My Great Uncle J.P. was there (her son) and he asked her if my mom could have her permission to take a photo of us together. He told her how special that would be to me in years to come and though she wasn't thrilled about it, she agreed. I will forever be thankful for J.P. being there that day. This was the last picture that was ever taken of my great grandma.

There are times when I'm working on a project and I look down I see Her hands instead of mine.
The first time I had this happen I found it creepy and then wonderful. It now makes me smile thinking that maybe in some little way I'm a little like her. 

I learned how to knit because of KayLyn, a girl I use to babysit. She was learning how to knit from someone else and accidentally unraveled her whole project. Not knowing how to start it on her own and knowing she wasn't going to be seeing the woman who was teaching her for a while, I decided I would try to figure out how to "Cast on" for her. I started looking for directions on the internet and asked a friend to show me how to get started and it just went from there. I don't think that KayLyn ever got real far with knitting but because of her I learned how to knit and I made scarves for her and her younger brother and older sister for Christmas that year. :) 

Just look at that beautiful smile! Oh how I miss it.

KayLyn unexpectedly passed away just shy of her 11th birthday. 

She lit up the whole world with her presence. No matter how rotten of a day you were having she would make it better. KayLyn loved God with her whole heart and showed love to everyone around her better than anyone else I have ever known. KayLyn even knew that Dowe and I would get married even before we started dating. *smiles remembering that day* We had all gone to this park together with a big group of people. Dowe and I were still in high school and were just best friends at the time and weren't even talking about dating yet. (this was all back in 2005) KayLyn attached herself to us that day as we walked the park. She would come over to me and whisper in my ear that he liked me and how cute she thought he was. (She was quite the girl let me tell you! with FANTASTIC taste in men ;) haha) When Dowe and I started dating in 2007 the only thing she said to me when I told her was "I Knew it! I told you he liked you!"  She then told me a little while later that she knew we were going to get married. When Dowe proposed to me on March 15th 2008 I could not WAIT to tell her. I waited to tell KayLyn in person that Dowe and I were going to get married. She threw her arms around me and hugged me so tightly. Oh to feel that tight sweet embrace again...(some day...in heaven I will.)  KayLyn sadly was not at our wedding in person as she passed away less than a  year before our wedding. Her mother and I shared a very emotional moment together at my wedding missing our beautiful KayLyn. Yes, everyone was very happy and excited for us for our wedding...but no one was quite as happy about it as KayLyn.  She also told Dowe and I that we would have beautiful babies together. She was right about that too. Our son was born 1 year and 9 months after KayLyn passed away and has an identical dimple to the one she had. He brings such joy to our lives like she did.

I loved to do crafts and have always enjoyed doing things with my hands anyways but having this little piece of these two loved ones with me when I knit or crochet makes it that much more special and enjoyable.
The biggest problem I have with doing crafts of any sort though is trying to figure out what to do with the things I make when they are done.... This is where my Etsy Shop will come in to place. With being on this new schedule and having so much more free time to be able to sit down and enjoy these crafts I am going to begin to sell them on Etsy. It will be a little while before my shop is up and running as I want to get a little bit of a stock pile of items to upload all at once to have a "grand opening".
The best part...I have Dowe's FULL support on this! He is also loving this idea. I brought it up rather cautiously a few nights ago telling him about Etsy and what I would like to do and he loved the idea!
I'm not looking to make a fortune on my Etsy shop but I would however love to make enough to be able to buy a sewing machine. I am not planning on having just one type of item on my shop either. I would love to have a wide variety of things. (Like I have said several times...I LOVE doing all sorts of crafts!) I am hoping to eventually also be able to take special orders and customize/personalize others. This will probably be down the road a little ways but I am so very excited! I hope you are too. :)