Think, dream, create.

Lately I've felt like I've just been in survival mode.
With having two littles of my own and then adding two more little ones I've just simply been doing what I need to do to get by,
But I've really felt a large void in my life.

I need to create.

I've always enjoyed doing crafts and things with my hands since I was young.
As a young girl I could lay on the floor and color for hours on end.
As I grew older I got into paper crafts and beading.
In my teens my great-grandmother taught me how to crochet and I learned to knit because of a special little girl I babysat.

While I still love to do all of those things, I rarely find the time to do most of them.
As a wife and mom I, like so many others, put aside the things that I find joy and pleasure in to meet everyone else's needs first.
But in the last week I've found I have a yearning to do some of those things again.
So I've decided I'm going to find or rather make the time for myself.

I know it won't be easy as I love my family and it is so easy to put everyone else (Read I'm a total people pleaser).
But I also know that by me taking time for myself to think, dream, create, and finding joy and pleasure in doing something with my hands again will also benefit my family. So really I'm doing it for them right? ;)

I've also been saying for, oh who knows how long, that I want to open an Etsy Shop. 
My goal is to get it up and running by the end of this year. Guess I should probably get going on it huh?

What do you do that is simply something you enjoy and do for yourself?
What do you do to keep yourself from feeling guilty taking "me time?"

Where does the time go?

I was driving home after running a quick errand or two and I was listening to the radio.
This simple but profound statement hit me hard.

"The days are long, but the years are short."

I've been feeling run down, ragged, and frustrated.
Parenting is hard work.
It's the hardest job I'll ever love.
And the only one I will ever gladly do 24/7/365.

It was such a good reminder to hear that, though these days right here, right now are long and hard, my years are numbered with my kids.
I came home with a very different view of my sons and my husband.
I remained deep in thought all day long and made a very conscience effort to stay engaged and calm all day.

Then yesterday, just a day or two later after hearing that line on the radio, I saw how short the years really are.
I saw a couple of the boys I use to babysit when I was younger.
They didn't look like boys anymore.
They didn't smell like boys anymore.
They didn't sound like boys anymore!

The years are short.

I don't know as I have seen those boys since I got married.
The last time I know for certain I was at their house was May 2009 and I don't even think they were there.
The oldest has an 18 month count down till he can start driving and a 48 month count down till graduation
The youngest just had his 7th grade school orientation.

Boys I have known since they were 3 years old and 6 months old.
Boys I use to play Lego's and PlayStation with and swam in the pond with.
These little boys who would only eat broccoli the way momma fixed it. (And my broccoli, well, it wasn't the way momma did it.)
These little boys who I would help get ready for and get them put to bed... aren't so little anymore.

Their dad told of how when the oldest turned 8 he told his wife how he was halfway to driving.
He got smacked for that comment. ;)

And then I realized...
If those boys grew up that fast, how much faster are my own two going to grow up?!

Sure, the days are long right now.
But before I know it three more years will be gone.
My oldest will be 6 in three years. He'll be in school, probably playing T-Ball, and building with Lego's on his own.
My youngest will be almost 3. He'll want to do everything big brother is doing, along with all the normal 3 year old stuff.
These years are going by too fast.
I need to start embracing the long days a little more.

A new season of life.

I have really wanted to get more blogging done lately but honestly; I'm having a hard time figuring out this new life.
Our schedule has been changed around a lot since I started babysitting in March.

I babysit two kiddos four days a week. A boy who is 2 years old and a girl who is almost 6 months old.
Two of the days I have them from 11:00am-3:30pm and the other two days I have them usually around 7:30am-3:30pm but sometimes they come as early as 6:30am depending on if their momma has to go in early. That usually only happens a coupe of times a month and we typically know ahead of time. On average though they're here closer to 8:00am.

My husband works second shift. He has to be to work for a meeting every day Monday-Friday at 2:30p, then his shift runs from 3pm-11pm.
After he gets home at night he needs time to unwind and relax before going to bed at night.
This has been a really big challenge for me as, well, I miss my husband.
I want to stay up with him and get to spend time alone in the quite of the evening but I need to get enough sleep that I can be the parent I want to be.
I'm finding that its a tough balance.

My mornings with four kids is pretty crazy to be totally honest.
On our short days its make lunch, get all kids fed, and three out of four down for naps (Monkey my *GASP* 3 year old!, no longer takes naps. Boo.)
The longer days are different as my kids typically sleep till 9a. I have some time alone with the two kids I babysit, then make breakfast, clean up from breakfast, change diapers, feed babies, make lunch, feed everyone, change diapers, naps, throw in more diaper changes here and there, and then their dad is here to pick them up. It's crazy, a lot of fun, but crazy. And the hardest part is that I feel like I don't see my husband much.

Add to that some tough parenting lately with our 3yo and a still pretty clingy 10mo. So there hasn't been a whole lot of extra time. And this momma is tired. I know this is a season in my life. I know it's one that wont last forever. Right now though while I'm in it and needing to adjust to this life I'm finding things, my blog namely, are getting neglected more than I would like.

I hope you will bear with me and continue to check my blog. I have some great events planned and just need to find the time to get them all up and running. There are some wonderful events I'm going to be apart of that you can get a sneak peek to the right of my blog. And I have some products I'm currently testing and reviewing for you! Two of which are from the Puj company!! And there will be a giveaway for at least one of the two so stay tuned!

Thanks for being a fan and for understanding that I'm a mom who's still trying to figure out this crazy but wonderful life.